with Kristia M. Beaubrun

Where in the world is the Chivalry?

"Where in the world is Carmen San Diego?" I used to love that show. I watched it every day after school, because geography was one of my favorite subjects back in the days. They used to give clues and based on those clues you would have to pinpoint where San Diego was. Now if only I could figure out where chivalry went.

A poor, elderly woman slowly climbs up the stairs with the help of a brown cane. Her gray hair is slightly pulled back and she's wearing a long winter coat to combat the freezing temperature outside. She digs deep into her pocket to find her bus fare. As she enters the bus, heads turn because no one is willing to give up their seat, forcing her to stand.

The male bus driver turns his head and politely asks the passengers sitting in the "priority seating" section directly behind him, to offer the woman a seat. A woman gave up her seat..

Where has the chivalry gone? Have society's standards changed? Most men have forgotten how to be polite. They don't open doors; proudly burp in public, scratch an itch, yell derogatory terms to women who don't give them any play. It's disgusting! Plain, old unacceptable.

I could not believe that the young man did not even flinch. He just sat there comfortably as if the bus driver was not addressing him. I sat there and wondered would he have even offered his seat to his own grandmother had she boarded the bus?

Don't get me wrong. I have accepted and mourned the death of chivalry, but I never realized the severity of its state. If teenage boys refuse to give up their seats, what type of men will they grow up to be?

I can just see a lot of the men who are reading this shaking their hands saying women wanted to be independent so let them. Why should I have to open the door for them when they can do it themselves? Am I right? It's amazing how our quest for independence and equality has been overused. Let's say you ask a man for a favor, I can almost guarantee that he will refuse to do it and cite women's quest for independence and equality as his excuse.

Granted, there are some women who hate chivalry and they are all about me, myself, and I. They don't want any input or assistance from a man for anything. That is fine, but there is nothing wrong with that. I just hate the fact that men have generalized the female sex. They see us as one body, one person when we are individuals. What works for one, won't for another. Do not put me in a pool of women!

I love it when men open doors for me. It makes me feel more respected and appreciated. I see nothing wrong with it. I am still independent when it comes to paying for dinner, movies, or my own bills. I don't depend on men, I depend on myself. It would be nice every now and then to see a man be courteous to a woman despite her age, race, or sex appeal. Yes, I said it.